The Boyfriend The Girlfriend
Cover 176400 girlfriend
What’s it all about? Borderline sociopath Joanna Collier sees AMATEUR DRAMATICS fan Dex fall off a cliff only to be surprised and horrified when he APPEARS to come back from the dead.What is the terrifying truth? Bet you can’t guess. Scott ‘Scotty’ Singleton soon regrets a weekend blowie with whispery redhead Shannon. That’s right, she’s a grade A bunny boiler. Lock up your pets! No, for realsies.
The Girl? As both titles this month are from the Godfather of Point Horror, we perhaps shouldn’t be surprised that neither lead character is typical.Joanna is a less self-aware Regina George. Hands up if you’ve ever been personally victimised by Joanna Collier? 

She leads Dex on, and treats new love interest Shep like a fashion accessory.

 

Stine hints at some major mummy/daddy issues, going some way to explain Joanna’s attitude problem. I don’t see any other author getting away with it.

Likewise, very few PH titles (The Yearbook) led with a male lead.The Girlfriend is no more and no less that a YA retelling of Fatal Attraction, and that’s no bad thing. 

However, it’s hard to tell if we’re meant to like Scotty. I think we’re meant to, but he does cheat on Lora (who is actually better than most PH girls – testament to Stine’s excellent dialogue).

 

Like Gone Girl’s Nick Dunne, this Golden Boy has it coming.

The Love Interest Dex is your standard Bad Boy from the bad side of town, except he’s not especially bad – just a bit stalky. It’s hard to understand what he sees in Joanna.Shep is a Golden Retriever of a character, but does grow a pair for the final (and demented) showdown and tells Joanna where to go. Lora (although perhaps too good to be true) is well realised. She loves Scotty but has a life of her own. Her sardonic take on her privileged life feels real.Her only misstep is her VERY fast forgiveness of Scotty at the end, he’d have been DEAD TO ME.
Dialogue Disasters This is RL Stine! There aren’t any obvious zingers, but please prove me wrong in the box below. ‘Bender’‘Fluffernutter’
Some Mild Peril Dex climbing in through Joanna’s window, and his lurking could be perceived as scary I suppose. The problem is, Dex isn’t very scary.Less would have been more, I feel. Shannon’s relentless pursuit of Scotty is effective. Scotty’s powerlessness is chilling.Stalking is a real threat, and this isn’t a bad portrayal – even if the climax is ludicrous.
Body Count 0 2 (animals)
Is it any good? Erm…Joanna is a welcome addition to the PH world – she’s truly hateful and a bold choice. It’s a shame she doesn’t get her comeuppance.I’m also a big Mary fan. Yes, the twist is obvious and I wish she hadn’t been quite so unhinged but I like the idea of her plotting against her frenemy. The Girlfriend feels slightly more like a PH than The Boyfriend and is better for it. Shannon is more believable than Dex, although it’s a shame she’s so one dimensional – I wish we knew more about her background.
Over to you! 1. Which title did you prefer and why?2. If you HAD TO, Dex or Shannon?3. Who’s a bigger shit? Joanna or Scotty? 

Next month we graduate high school and head to NIGHTMARE HALL – THE SILENT SCREAM by Diane Hoh.

 

 

42 thoughts on “PHBC: The Boyfriend vs The Girlfriend

  • October 13, 2014 at 3:49 pm
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    1. Which title did you prefer and why?
    My favourite was The Girlfriend, mainly because this was the most realistic and scariest of the two and everyone can imagine being in that situation. You did start to feel sorry for Scottie (even though he deserved it), poor fluffernutter and the snake 🙁 but there were times I started to feel anxious myself wondering where Shannon would pop up next.
    Whilst the boyfriend was fun, it was all a bit ridiculous with the Zombie Boyfriend back from the dead and eating the flesh torn from his face in the middle of a club and it all went a bit too far for a practical joke.
    Rereading The Girlfriend which I thoroughly enjoyed as a teen reminded my of my disappointment that The Dead Girlfriend wasn’t a sequel to this title, especially as the front cover featured a girl which was exactly what I imagined Shannon to look like. I would have loved another title with her tormenting someone else… Baby.

    2. If you HAD TO, Dex or Shannon?
    “HAD TO” what? Are we playing F/M/K? Shannon NEEDS to be killed to be stopped. Shep was more Joanna’s type but Dex could’ve just been dumped rather than left for dead.

    3. Who’s a bigger shit? Joanna or Scotty?
    Scotty Shittleton is the shittiest shit around. Whether they had sex or “blowie”, it was still a low blow for Lora who was just visiting Paris. Plus I’m sure he also led Shannon on a bit afterwards, even if he was just trying to keep her sweet, so he is partly to blame – although I’d love to know more about what made Shannon such a Fatal Attraction wannabe in the first place.
    Joanna may have fled the scene – but let’s be real, Pete was also left there and this was pre mobile phones, so who’s to say she wasn’t running to make a phone call to 911 (*we* all know this wasn’t the case…) and she was a victim to Dex and Pete’s practical joke – which was way harsh. Joanna was a Bitch they way she treated the guys like toys, even though this was her “teenage rebellion phase”, but she wasn’t all THAT bad. How would YOU react to a Zombie boyfriend back from the dead??? I still think Scott wins the Shit Crown.

    What was with the constant reminder that “Bender” was prone to falling over? I was expecting that to play a part in the story at some point.

    Not really a dialogue disaster, but The Boyfriend made laugh with:
    “Have you been drinking?”
    “Yeah. I had a coupla root beers while I waited for you at the mall.”
    I couldn’t decide if this was Dex’s attempt at humour or just PH keeping it ~teen friendly~

    Shout out to Gloria Estefan playing in the club to really make me feel like I was back in the 90s

    Reply
  • October 13, 2014 at 8:27 pm
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    *settles into vintage Chesterfield in the Point Horror Book Club library, helps self to nibbles* Ooh… in’t it luvleh to be back? James, there was a time during the last month when I nearly went all Shannon on your ass, rocking up at your home address to try and stalk you into coming back sooner. But I didn’t. That shadowy figure you thought you saw crouching in your garden that night? All in your head, my friend. Yep.

    Anyway, bravo as ever for RL Stine, whose sense of humour and liberal application of snark always elevates his Point Horrors above the rest, even if The Boyfriend and The Girlfriend aren’t among his most successful efforts.

    I read The Boyfriend first as I had a vague memory of it being the weaker of the two, and I think I was right, despite the glorious appearance of that old Stine favourite, the ‘egg-cracking’ cliff fall, within the first 30 pages.

    I agree that bitchy Joanna is a total breath of fresh air. A far cry from our usual winsome leading ladies, this gal is quite, quite foul. I mean, you guys, her boyfriend FALLS OFF A CLIFF, and she drives away on account of not wanting her credit card privileges revoked. And maybe also to avoid a manslaughter charge or whatever, though she’s kind of vague on that. She wasn’t the easiest protagonist to sympathise with, but I thought Stine made real efforts with motivation. Sure, the daddy abandonment issues were hokey, but they were better than nothing. Anyway, my favourite piece of Joanna vileness was this, regarding her perfectly pleasant tennis instructor: “Was she losing her mind, or was Rod just an inane idiot?”

    To be honest, everyone else in the book kinda pissed me off. Pete was tedious – was he even in on it or not by the end? I stopped caring by the 74th fake death – and Dex, who referred at one point to falling off a cliff as ‘performance art’, was a plonker. Also, sorryboutit Joanna, but Shep was 100% gay. He tells Joanna she looks “okay” when escorting her to the dance, while wearing a cashmere sweater that he jokingly-not-jokingly tells her to wash her hands before touching. Run for the hills, Joanna; being the fifteenth Mrs Tom Cruise is a good colour on no-one.

    To be honest, apart from the fact that the plot was preposterous in the extreme (nobody would fall for Dexter’s zombie scam. NOBODY), I felt the whole book was a little sloppier than Stine’s usual efforts. Joanna becomes Joanne a number of times throughout the book (TWICE on page 88!), and there’s a weird display of wrongworditis when Dex’s neighbourhood is described as “claptrap” (um… it’s full of hot air?). There’s even a moment or two of wordcount waffle (“The yard seemed to be all weeds, weeds that hadn’t been cut in months, bending first this way, then that in the shifting night wind”) that had me reaching for the bullshit klaxon.

    Outright dialogue disasters were thin on the ground, but I did enjoy Joanna, upon getting an extreme close up of Dexter’s green skin, red eyes, rotting face and EXPOSED SKULL, mildly asking, “Dex – are you all right?” as well as this closing exchange between Mental Mary and Dexter the Douche: “’Let me kill her! Let me kill her!’ ‘Let’s go inside…Let’s forget this whole crazy time.” Well, yes, let’s.

    [Special additional mention to the Gloria Estefan-playing club, Barks. I think the Point Horror Book Club needs a night out there].

    And so to The Girlfriend, which I enjoyed a lot more. Absent fathers and grotesque privilege play a part in this one too, but the tried and tested Fatal Attraction plot hangs together much better. Scotty SINGLETON (nice, RL) makes for a believable if pretty stupid and unsympathetic lead. For one thing, the dude’s rocking a straight up mullet (“light brown hair that he kept short on top but down to his collar in the back.”) which just about wins everything.

    Lora and Scott’s banter is pretty good too, though “Your muscles are all tight…How come you’re so tense?”/ “You just excite me.” probably qualifies as an at least partial dialogue disaster. And yeah, Bender’s a dick; I wanted Shannon to take her snake-shears to his stupid face.

    It was a shame that we didn’t get more of Shannon’s backstory. I felt we deserved a more dramatic climax too, rather than the business with the ski poles – a Lora/Shannon showdown might have been fun.

    To answer your questions:
    1. A friend of mine told me a story recently about the time she was one of only two contestants in a dance competition. The judge said they were both so poor that they could only be awarded third and fourth place. I feel the same way about The Boyfriend and The Girlfriend; neither lit my word on fire, though The Girlfriend was better by a country mile.
    2. Shannon. Shannon was H-O-T.
    3. Both massive shits. The shittiest. But given that Joanna felt not a scrap of remorse over her boyfriend’s (repeated) death, I’d say she was the shittier of the shits. Scotty-too-hotty at least felt a bit bad about his douchiness.

    Ooh, Nightmare Hall – good choice! See y’all next month 🙂

    Reply
  • October 13, 2014 at 8:47 pm
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    Well I LOVED death match point horror …. brill idea James. Ding Ding! Oh and hi Daniel John 🙂

    1. Which title did you prefer and why?
    I have to say for me the Boyfriend had the edge over the Girlfriend. I loved Joanna in a weird kind of way. Other than making me laugh with some of her cutting comments (see below) I actually loved feeling victimised by Joanna Collier :-). It was refreshing seeing a point horror main character being so hateful and vile and making me think what an absolute cow and hating her guts! Mary was great as the frenemy harshly scorned by Joanna’s cutting comments. I especially loved how much she loved her friend giving her the ultimate sign of friendship whilst Joanna was laid up in hospital –

    Mary handed here a Snickers Bar. “Quick – hide it”.
    “A Snickers Bar? Mary – I’m touched!”
    “Just hide it” Mary insisted “before they take it away from you. I figured this is probably the one time you won’t be watching your weight”.
    “What a thoughtful present, ” Joanna said.

    Ha Ha ha Joanna…..fooled by a Snickers bar….that was her downfall. I loved the way that Joanna thought her cutting horrible comments were her way of having a sense of humour.

    “Oh no look at that girls hair! Unbelievable!”
    Shep looked at her, an odd smile on his face.
    “Joanna, you’re such a snob”. He said it jokingly but there was definitely a tone of disapproval in it.
    I’s better be careful, Joanna thought. Shep doesn’t seem to appreciate my sense of humour.

    Obviously it was just her sense of humour when she said this too whilst playing tennis –

    Look at that fatso over there, wearing a parachute for tennis shorts, she thought, snickering at the woman chasing a ball across the next court. If I looked like that, I wouldn’t play tennis. I’d shoot myself instead.

    Nice Joanna. Nice. She’s such a barrel of laughs you know. And ps Joanna some people like more than a Snickers bar okay and like me do not look good in shorts okay :-). I did laugh when payback happened to Joanna in the end. Now set the scene….you are scared….in the woods…..zombie Dexter coming after you …. throwing you to the floor……what would you do? Scream? Get up and run? Cry? Or say what Joanna said and was clearly bothered about –

    “Get off me! It’s cold down here. You’re ruining my coat!” Classic lol lol lol lol

    Dexter was great…what a great actor eh? I mean who would have thought it…I love the fact that he teamed up with Mary and I love the fact that he thought Joanna would find the smell of rotting meat a turn on! I especially loved Dexter for being so smelly in the cinema when Joanna was sniffing him….he always smelled so sweet and now he smelled of yep rotting meat….mind you there’s always one in the cinema (just me?).

    I can’t finish talking about the Boyfriend without a mention of good old Shep. He came across to me a bit of an airhead (too harsh?) and a bit like our typical point horror main character….as above he called Joanna a snob….really Shep??…whats with this classic line then?

    “Shep – you didn’t close the door?” Joanna said.
    “I – I thought the maid would” Shep said looking frightened

    Was Shep realising he was turning into Joanna? lol

    And what was with Pete’s line – “Your putting on me right?” at least Joanna had the sense to ask what on earth he was on about…You go girl!

    Overall I loved the story….I know it was a bit obvious and I guess a BIT lame and unbelievable but Joanna just made it for me.

    Now I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the Girlfriend. I did enjoy, but rather than make me laugh Scotty annoyed the hell out of me the two timing little toe rag! And Lora….I loved her, but OMG soooo easily forgiving…..I kept imagining Scotty saying he had it away with the whole cheerleading team and she would be like “Whatevs no big deal”. If that was me I would be like “That snake was a metaphor for what I’m about to do to your ding a ling baby!” (obviously I’m a bit of a Shannon?). And what a way to make an entrance at his own surprise birthday party – CRINGE – it’s like your usual Saturday night ritual of ….oh just your usual carrying a dead body of the girl I did the deed with behind my girlfriends back…causally into my girlfriends house…nothing unusual or wrong with this……SURPRISE….uh-oh I’m so busted…not cause she’s dead but because my girlfriend (change into Matthew Lilliard voice at the end of Scream) is gonna be so mad at me *cries*

    I also like to think that R L Stine used to have a beloved pet called Fluffernutter as that’s the only excuse my brain can comprehend for such a Bogus cat name ……what was with Scotty saying everything was Bogus? I kept imaging Bill and Ted…well I guess it was the era? It wasn’t even bogus in a good way ie –
    About going to the commerce ball –
    “”Okay, okay. We’re doing it” he said “But it’s going to me so bogus”
    “Its only for a few hours of your life Scotty”

    And we have a classic random conversation winner in the Girlfriend – very random –

    Scotty had a heavy sinking feeling “A girl? Out front? Why do they need me?”
    “Well…” Paul reached a hand over his shoulder and rubbed the back of his neck “Sorry stiff neck. I woke up with it”

    Erm…random?

    Your right Daniel – what on earth was with Bender keep falling over? It had no relevance at all – so bogus!

    2. If you HAD TO, Dex or Shannon?
    I have learnt well from our dear friend Scotty…..both :-). PS if we are playing F/M/K (I am presuming this mean F**K/Marry/Kiss but I’m obviously not down with the kids but I’m going for it anyway probably at my humiliating expense) I go for….Dexter (sound like my type ish), Lora (shes lovely really), Pete (he was totally left out …bless him).

    3. Who’s a bigger shit? Joanna or Scotty?
    Hmmmmm tough one James……technically Joanna was a witch with a capital B….but Scotty was a cheating cover it up and my girlfriend will never find out although the girl I cheated with is a little bit cuckoo. Tough call! I will go for Scott.

    My shout out is this cool line from the Girlfriend –
    “I don’t know. Be a rock star maybe. Maybe be like Madonna” (YES! EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS YES!)

    James – which did you prefer?
    James and Daniel – Your F/M/K (that’s if my meaning was right – hmmmm maybe not?) *red face*

    FOR BILLY – Dialogue Disaster….well almost as this one is for PH book club regular Billy or as I have renamed him…Goat (see the perfume PH book club for reference 🙂 ….I’m hoping he’s joining in on this months other wise this is going to make no sense at all….here goes especially for Goat 🙂
    “No – Dex!”
    She heard him scream all the way down.
    Then from down below she heard a cracking sound, the sound of eggs breaking.
    That wasn’t a joke
    This wasn’t a performance.
    This was real.
    This was death.

    PS – RIP FLUFFERNUTTER AND ERNIE….such an addition to the PH genre – they will be sorely missed….or will the return in the Zombie Cat or the half snake from hell!!!!

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  • October 13, 2014 at 9:06 pm
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    Paul – I can imagine you with long red hair stalking James with your point horror book collection ready to pounce …..run James run 🙂

    I love your Benders a dick comment…..and wanting Shannon to take her shears to his face! And theres me thinking my ding a ling comment was harsh – oh er…..

    And what a fab idea – Point Horror Book Club night out to a 90’s bar! I’m there! We could all dress up as our favourite point horror characters! We would look so cool!!! ………*ahem*

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  • October 13, 2014 at 9:56 pm
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    Haha Michelle, F/M/K – you were so close … Fck/Marry/Kill – or also known as it’s BBC3 televised counterpart of Snog, Marry, Avoid.

    What was WITH the last name of Singleton anyway? I’d totally forgotten this was his last name at first – so when we got to the scene at the bonfire party and everyone was shouting out to him “hey, Singleton” – i thought these were all friendly jibes that he was temporarily single while his girlfriend was in Paris. D’oh. Who thought I’d need to pay more attention to a PH book 😉

    If there’s an outing to Barks – then I want first choice on the fringe skirt and plastic boots just to piss off any snobby rich girls in the crowd.

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  • October 13, 2014 at 10:02 pm
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    Lol… Ohhhhhh KILL was the last part of f/m/k!!! I was soooo close *hangs head in shame and takes self hi five back*

    But still think Pete was the best choice for the K part… I could kiss him then kill him *evil laugh* mwahahahaha

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  • October 13, 2014 at 10:37 pm
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    Never mind Scotty or Joanna, I’m hooking up with Joanna’s lush mom. She reminded me of Patricia Arquette’s drunk mom in Elm Street 3, who is my role model.

    I think Lora would have been my high school beard. We’d have organised a fanzine of some sort.

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  • October 13, 2014 at 11:18 pm
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    Call me Shannon – cause I actually did track down James to find out what had happened to the PHBC! Mr Dawson is like Oprah to me now – tell me what to read next, damn you!! 🙂

    Moving on…

    1. The Girlfriend wins the battle for me. The climatic entrance to Scotty’s surprise party was great! I also really dug my girl Shannon trying to crash the big awards ceremony – lipstick smeared teeth and all. “You don’t love me? I’ll break your f**king hand!” – it’s sooo wrong that a girl as cray as that is still kinda appealing! Maybe it’s the over the top possessive / jealous thing; it’s sort of cute in a murderous way! Do you reckon Shannon would have forgiven Scotty like Lora did? NO. WAY. The Boyfriend was a bit more of a meandering tale. It felt like Mr Stine started with the punchline and then worked to build the story around it. I dug Joanna’s total emotional disconnect from the ‘normal’ people, however – what a total B!

    2. Well, I’ve already shown my hand here – Shannon by the length of Fear Street. Maybe I could help her not be so stabby? I’m sure I could change her!

    3. Sorry ladies, but Scotty isn’t really guilty of anything plenty of dodgy guys haven’t done before. Joanna, on the other hand, leaving someone for dead – MUCH shittier. Honourable mentions to Dex for making his girl sit through cliff top performance rubbish and to the detective / over zealous youth worker who elected to use Scotty as bait to get some hard evidence on Shannon. Didn’t he learn anything from the cop in ‘The Babysitter’? Waiting for someone to nearly get killed isn’t great police work! So yeah – he’s a shit too.

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  • October 14, 2014 at 7:06 am
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    Well this was a total blast, and great comments from y’all!

    1. Which title did you prefer and why?

    For me it was The Boyfriend. The story was much more fun and it had an EGG CRACKING DEATH (thank you for remembering me Michelle lol, I hope I also get a nod of recognition when we next come across buttered popcorn!). I loved Joanna (I hear her hair’s insured for $10,000), she was callous and spoilt and self absorbed… brilliant traits. Zombie Dex was a bit far fetched, I’ll give you that, and I can’t seem to remember how they got around her not seeing him in school – this wasn’t set over summer break or anything was it? Joanna (I hear she does car commercials… in Japan) was a great protagonist because I hated her throughout (but in a different way to how I hated that silly old mare from Trick or Treat), and in my mind she was Regina George. This one time I saw Joanna in army pants and flip flops.

    So I bought army pants and flip flops.

    The Girlfriend was good as well, but as with a couple of other books in the series (April Fools, Trick or Treat), I seemed to be reading the same few scenes over and over again. Shannon, with her whispery voice, would have benefited from a back story to explain her psycho-ness (don’t think that’s a word, sorry) instead of just being a crazy ski pole stabbing flame haired nut bar. Lora came across as overtly smug, yet strangely likeable at the same time, and as for Scotty… got to hand it to him for the lengths he went to to try and dispose of her body lol. I agree a ‘The Hand That Rocks the Cradle’ style showdown between Lora and Shannon would have good, with Shannon tumbling out of a window and meeting a fitting egg cracking demise on the patio below.

    2. If you HAD TO, Dex or Shannon?
    Hmmmm. Shannon. I’ve never had a girl go crazy about me before so it’d be good to see what it’s like.

    3. Who’s a bigger shit? Joanna or Scotty?
    It’s got to be Joanna, but for all the right reasons. Who would honestly leave their boyfriend for dead through fear of their parents finding out they snuck around after lights out? I think Dex wins this though for pulling the prank on Joanna in the first place. But, honestly, no make up is that good that you’d mistake some white foundation for an exposed skull, surely?

    The next death match has to be Beach House vs Beach Party. I seem to remember the beach house having some strange time travelling ability unless I’m confusing it with something else. Beach Party I can’t recall even having a plot, lol.

    Nightmare Hall… as Celine Dion once said, ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ – totally forgot about this sub-series. Didn’t Frau Hoh write about fifty books in this series? It’s like, stop trying to make Nightmare Hall happen! IT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

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  • October 14, 2014 at 5:27 pm
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    Book club quote of the month: “Shannon, by the length of Fear Street.” Bravo, Mark.

    Billy, I love the Beach House / Beach Party beach-off idea! Like you, I remember the timey-wimey stuff of the former, but nowt of the latter. VERY much looking forward to Nightmare Hall, though. I feel as a group we’ve neglected Diane Hoh a bit.

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  • October 14, 2014 at 8:10 pm
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    Mark – I LOVE that you find a bit of cray cray appealing … We all go a little crazy sometimes!!! Mwwwwhhhshhahaaaaa (that was meant to be an evil laugh…I thought you might like it 🙂

    Billy!!! Thank god your here…. I was worried that my egg crack quote would leave me looking a bit Shannon esque and I would have to hunt you down, set your car on fire, cut your snake (not a metaphor) and break your fingers……..

    this is obviously a joke! Ahem bit worried mark may find this appealing he he he he lol

    Awwwww billy (goat) you have never had a girl go crazy over you before….keep one eye looking behind you billy….

    Anyway now I look like a stalker ( I’m not I promise) I am so pleased that someone else preferred the boyfriend over the girlfriend!! I was starting to worry that I was on my own with that one!! Who doesn’t love a bit of zombie and a bitchy main character!

    I’m looking forward to a bit of nightmare hall for next month… I don’t actually remember much of this one to be honest

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  • October 14, 2014 at 11:07 pm
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    There were a lot of Nightmare Hall books – about 30 I think. I loved the die cut covers that gave you a completely voyueristic peek through a window and then revealed a whole lot more once you opened the cover. Great idea! In fact, the covers of some of these books are one of the reasons I love ’em!

    I actually just read The Silent Scream while waiting for the PHBC to reconvene so I’ve got the jump on most of you! Hope everyone enjoys Jess’ adventures!

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  • October 15, 2014 at 1:43 pm
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    Lol Michelle, please don’t set my car on fire I’ve just made my last payment! I looked out my window last night during a thunderstorm. There was a flash of lightning and I saw a face behind a tree… was it you?

    And lol it’s sad but true – no girl has ever been that interested in me (on a psycho level at least). I once got a match on tinder, panicked and then deleted the app lolz.

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  • October 15, 2014 at 6:43 pm
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    OMG, well after a long time lurking out in the garden in the rain, peering at you lot through the trees like you’re babysitting in a strange part of town, I thought I would finally post! *waves*… I’m a bit late to the party, I blame work who require me to actually DO stuff during the day when I would really much rather be lying on the sofa reading the latest #CazzCoo (still trying to make it a thing)…

    Anyway after reading both titles, I have to say I much preferred The Boyfriend for sheer entertainment value. Both were great, it’s just (as everyone else has said) The Girlfriend was just a little bit too “Fatal Attraction” for me. Plus I got so tired of Shannon by the end I was kind of hoping Scotty would do a ‘Solange’ and knock her out or something.

    I loved Joanna for her sheer bitchiness (a touch of pot calling kettle black in the nightclub though, no matter how fringed the skirt was)..l but I couldn’t figure out how she managed to fall for the “my boyfriends dead” trick. I mean this was the early 90s, how advanced could these special effects be? And it got a bit “oh he’s dead” – “no wait he was just kidding” by the end.

    Anyway, on to the other questions:

    2. Definitely Dex for being a bit of a (black humour!) joker, plus he was an aspiring actor therefore probably quite fit in real life ( shallow, I know)

    3. This was a tough one for me. On the scale of shittiness I would probably rank them both even. Maybe Joanna has the slight edge for judging others’ fashion sense before her own.

    Looking forward to the next instalment! So we’re clear, how do we pronounce Hoh? Is it how I think in my childish head? Hehe…

    Tim.

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  • October 15, 2014 at 7:04 pm
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    Your comments are so much better than the actual post this month. I’m sorry – I’m on double deadlines 🙁

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  • October 15, 2014 at 9:24 pm
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    Hey Tim welcome to the club! I love it when new people join… it’s like watching Alice take a seat at the Mad Tea Party.

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  • October 15, 2014 at 9:35 pm
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    Billy – lol about tinder…and it may have been me or it may not have been…..you will never know *makes spooky noises like ohhhhhhh and crrrreeeeakkkk and ….. You get the idea.

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  • October 15, 2014 at 9:49 pm
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    Hey tim…..welcome 🙂 … I’ve just almost chocked on my buttered popcorn ( point horror book club inside joke refer to collect call lol) with you line about Scott doing a solange… Lol and I’m sure Cazcoo is most definately a thing thanks to Paul and then us all adopting it lol. And I’m sure we all agree that next month you tell work that point horror book club is far more important than doing actual work …. Just blame me lol
    And yay another vote for the boyfriend 🙂

    Billy goat – are you trying to say we are all mad as hatters whilst welcoming tim to the table? How very dare you! I think you will find that I have provided no such evidence of the sort in any of the above comments so I know you are most definitely not including me in that *pulls angel face … Oh wait halo has slipped….props back up again and grins like the Cheshire Cat … Oh and a song plays In the background that goes ahhhhhhhhhh*

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  • October 15, 2014 at 9:50 pm
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    James- your post was great and it’s got us talking so it must have been good *hands gold star to james*

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  • October 15, 2014 at 10:31 pm
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    James’ comments got me thinking – have the PHBC inmates finally taken over the asylum?

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  • October 15, 2014 at 10:40 pm
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    The Asylum! Now there’s a Point Horror just crying out to be written.

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  • October 16, 2014 at 6:14 pm
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    As long as all of us are in it 🙂

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  • October 16, 2014 at 10:44 pm
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    Over to you James – fulfil the prophecy; write your own Point Horror novel!!

    And… it could feature all our favourite PH characters! And several egg cracking sounding falls! And Shannon 😉

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  • October 18, 2014 at 10:28 pm
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    James if you do write “The Asylum”, and feature me in it, please give me an egg crack death.

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  • October 19, 2014 at 10:01 am
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    I would totally write a Point Horror called THE ASYLUM.

    A blurb:

    Kurstin has lived near the derelict Raccoon Falls Asylum her whole life and grew up on stories of the ghosts that haunt the wards. One Halloween, she and her friends are dared to spend the night in the asylum. Kurstin has reservations but agrees to the challenge.

    Once locked inside, the terror truly begins as Kurstin hears strange noises and sees haunting visions. One thing’s for sure…a night in this asylum will drive you CRAZY.

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  • October 19, 2014 at 11:16 am
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    Billy – its so you….you so deserve a FICTIONAL egg cracking death…..and before your egg cracking death the characters should all be eating buttered popcorn as a sort of lead up to your egg cracking death…..its so you. Ohhhhhh what could I be in it…..from all my posts I sound like a raving asylum in mate so maybe so stalker ghost? (I really am not portraying myself in a good light and I am honestly really nice and not a stalker in real life I promise…. pinky swear). Any one have any ideas of what characters we could play (bit of fun?)?

    James – I love the blurb! I need to know what happens to Kurstin (love that name) and her friends! I’m sure you could do the point horror world proud and write a cracking (No pun intended Billy) Point Horror Novel! Could we all be in the acknowledgements / writers notes at the end 🙂 ….I love reading these at the end of books (or sometimes at the start)…..I fear I would never be THAT important to appear in one so maybe this is now the time I fulfil my dream 🙂 lol

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  • October 19, 2014 at 11:32 pm
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    I can see the embossed cover already!

    I reckon I’m a lock to play the wannabe funny guy who plays one too many jokes so that when I do finally disappear no-one is really certain if it’s just another one of my jokes.

    We need a great PH name for Kurstin’s love interest – Skyler? Rocky? JD? 😉

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  • October 20, 2014 at 10:24 am
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    Lol @ everyone.

    I always liked the one syllable names myself, and even better if it has an ‘x’ in it. Also it could be set in the 90s so we can make the most of phantom phone calls and uncontactable parents. As well as the standard fashion faux pas, like knee high socks and plaid skirts etc.

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  • October 20, 2014 at 5:30 pm
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    Like any good PH love interest, he should be named after a type of weather, so I’m going with Damp. Damp Trent.

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  • October 21, 2014 at 6:57 pm
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    If we are going with a weather name for a love interest how about Blaze! Blaze Trent?

    Only name I can think of one syllable with an x is Xan. Xan Trent?

    How about the name of the annoying best friend who is so self absorbed she doesn’t even know anything is going on in the asylum and let’s face it she’s probably gonna be first to snuff it and run up the stairs rather than out the front door?!?

    I feel this will be another best seller james…..hmmmmmm

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  • October 21, 2014 at 10:35 pm
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    The annoying friend has to have a name ending in an i – Mindi, Charli, Trixi – something that’s a cross between trailer park and stripper!

    I can’t wait to read the section where Damp tries to get *ahem* busy with Kurstin somewhere totally inappropriate, like the electro shock room: “C’mon Kursty! Let’s make some sparks of our own!” She hated when he called her Kursty…

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  • October 22, 2014 at 5:29 am
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    OMG Blaze can be Damp’s evil lost twin, banished to the asylum years ago! The parents can be like “We had both elements with our sons… Blaze, who’s fiery soul and bright personality lit up our lives, and Damp, who was really… boring and dull”

    Mindi can stumble across an old soiled photo album in one of the upstairs hallways, and as she gets her realisation, is pushed from behind, out of a top floor window, and starts a new life as a plate of eggs Benedict.

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  • October 22, 2014 at 5:55 am
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    And and and, there can be all sorts of cringe inducing hints at the fire/water-ness of them.

    As Kurstin took her Gloria Estefan tape out of her Walkman and turned it over and hit fast forward in order to rewind to her favourite part of the song on the other side of the tape, she thought of how clammy Damp’s hands were” and “Damp protested in his watery, wavery voice” and “Standing next to Blaze, who was hot by anybody’s standards, Mindi could feel his body heat radiating off his chiseled abs” and “When Blaze laughed, that eerie, creepy chuckle, it sounded like firewood snapping and cracking around a camp fire”.

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  • October 22, 2014 at 6:56 pm
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    Yes yes yes to all of this! I literally could hear the egg-citement (sorry) in Billy’s voice there… It was great! I could feel you excitement and especially seeing the time you posted was 5am!!! You were certainly bright eyed and bushy tailed billy …

    Love the ideas guys!!! Especially blaze being the hot twin banished to the asylum!

    I think we should have a geeky friend who knows about blaze …Maybe Randy or Avery or Barney …surname Truman! He was the one suggesting the sleepover at the asylum to draw them in! He wants revenge on all his “friends” but he gets double crossed by blaze….. Geeky friends gets it whilst listening to his Walkman (Bon jovi blaze of glory don’t you know) when unbeknown to let’s say randy blaze creeps up behind him and strangles him with the bloody extra long wire of the head phones for the Walkman …. Randy grapples with the wire and manages to turn and face his killer… And as randy takes his last dying breathe blaze says “I always hated that song!” Poor randy. His lifeless body limp. Blaze picks up randys body and throws him over his shoulder and stomps of humming blaze of glory by Bon Jovi and thinking I’m going to have this song in my head for the rest of my killing spree!! Now we know why he’s in…..THE ASYLUM lol

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  • October 22, 2014 at 6:57 pm
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    Billy / mark…add me if your in twitter… You guys are hilarious! In a fab way! Lol

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  • October 22, 2014 at 7:11 pm
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    Lol I think I’ve added all y’all. I’m yobigfoot101 but my Twitter is just unfunny one liners that are usually Twin Peaks related.

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  • October 22, 2014 at 7:28 pm
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    I honestly can’t say mines any better to be honest…..oh what lives we lead lol….now back to writing the best EVER point horror book ….like…. EVER…..it’s going to be so bogus baby!

    Ps….*shamefully hangs head to the fact I’ve never watched twin peaks* but I obvs knows what it is I’m if I didn’t that would be well cray cray! Lol

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  • October 22, 2014 at 7:37 pm
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    Ps billy…I’m trying to imagine what blazes chuckle would be like? It sound like firewood snapping and crackle around the fire!!!! Whoa! I think he may need the doctors pronto either that or it’s the exorcist part 10!!

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  • October 22, 2014 at 7:44 pm
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    OHMYGOD I have missed you guys, and this blog. Like, a SHANNON amount.

    Anyhoo…anyone else pick up on The Stinemeister’s fondness for describing the sound of bodies going kersplat as sounding like “smashed eggs”? We had exactly the same description in The Babysitter as well as in The Girlfriend. I’m starting to suspect Stine of having a few skeletons in the closet. Or of just being a really clumsy baker, I’m not sure.

    On to the questions.

    Overall I think I preferred The Girlfriend. Shannon was a believable bunny boiler, Scott Singleton was a believable dumbass. It escalated nicely until you could believe that Scott might commit manslaughter (bunnyboilerslaughter?). The Boyfriend had some great characters, but seriously though. Seriously. Nobody is going to mistake a blacked out tooth for a missing tooth. That was some hella good makeup skills Dex had there. Just ridiculous. Even for PH.

    If I had to? I guess Dex. I mean he’s a bit of an annoying pickledick, but at least he would remain a one night snog and wouldn’t start stalking me and talking about “our relationship” *shudder*

    I think the bigger shit here is actually Scotty. Joanna is a total toolbag, no question, but to my mind there is a difference between covering up someone’s accidental death and covering up an accidental death which you caused. Ok, it’s not a HUGE difference and we are basically talking degrees of shit, but there we are.

    For me where The Girlfriend failed is that Scotty basically gets away with it, the jammy little shitweasel. He cheats, he lies, he *thinks* he’s killed his stalker who has killed his girlfriend’s pet and is all set to stick it in a shallow grave somewhere so he can get on with his life. DICK MOVES, SCOTTY. And then when he’s discovered, he doesn’t lose a damn thing?! WTF. If I were Lora, I would kick his ass to the curb (with a witty one liner about how he can live up to his surname now, or something) and ensure he never got a job with my dad’s company. But she basically laughs it all off and tells him not to worry. I dunno about you, but knowing my boyfriend was willing to cover up the death of someone he killed would raise a few relationship red flags for me…

    I’d love to add all you guys on twitter btw – I’m @bookiesnacksize 🙂

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  • October 22, 2014 at 8:46 pm
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    Yay Bookie! You made it! We missed you so so so so so so much! I can always rely on you to introduce a new word to my vocab…piddledick!!! That is now officially my answer to everything … Love it lol

    I wonder if your right and Stine whilst one day needed a stress free book break and just couldn’t find the words he was looking for. He decided to bake a cake as food porn cake was the only way to get the juices flowing (actually no one needs and excuse for cake!) … He was getting all of the ingredients out of the fridge whilst cursing under his breathe “those goddamn jokers at scholastic (trying to sound American in my typing and failing) they keep giving me stupid bogus titles to work with… It makes me so ANGRY!!!! I have to describe a PG13 way of someone dying … It’s impossible!!! ” at that moment Stine drops a whole carton of eggs on the floor…. CRACK!!!!!! Stine has a lightbulb moment and from now on no other death scene in his books will ever be the same! He fondly remembers the day of the egg cracking and so will we…book after book after book. He was however sad that he did not get to make his cake …. I feel your pain mr Stine…I feel your pain!

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  • October 24, 2014 at 6:32 pm
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    I am LOL’ing at the PHBC novel.. Got me thinking how much the authors were paid for coming up with the goods after being given their ‘tittle’ to write – surely it can’t be ths easy to work the PH magic!!

    I think I have successfully stalked(added) you guys now… Looking forward to next month!

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  • June 17, 2016 at 7:20 pm
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    BF v GF – neither. Found both boring. Reckon Mary was in love with Dex herself, which was the cause of her rage against her best friend. I love Dex’s morbidness but to be honest I’d prefer Julian or Snowman for my bf.

    Much prefer(red) The Dead GF – she kills her best friend & makes it look like a suicide, then kills her new friend’s cat (poor kitty), & stays in a r’ship w/ a boy she doesn’t even actually like just cos he’s the best friend of her object of desire. gimme fuel, gimme fire, give me that which i desire…..ooh! yeah!!

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